Wow, some days it's really tough to find the good in certain things. When arguments occur it just takes me to a different place. I want to write this today because I want to remember that sometimes even with struggles and challenges its not so easy to find the good in my day. Yesterday was a great day with my family and I was so looking forward to going to bed with such gratitude. God, really did being my family back together and answered my prayers. I felt the urge to make thanksgiving dinner and bring my family back to the table together because it has been such a long time. I have really missed the bond of a family and genuine love for each other to spend time together and reconnect. I have really missed that and really thought I lost that forever....
But, the pm of thanksgiving turned alittle sour. I'll share the story.. My son wanted to go to the store for an Xbox game and he and my husband and I were bored of watching tv, so I offered to take my son to go get it. Keep in mind that the evening for Black Friday at started so it was going to be really really busy. I didn't get concerned with that through because I was excited to see what the frenzy was all about. We made it to target, he got his game with very little frustration and he and I were both doing well. My husband on the other hand was not. He became very judge mental and assuming about these people out shopping and became very short and curt but of course only my son and I had to deal with it.. He made a mean comment and I got angry because of his strong judgement towards others (it hit home because of how he has treated me and my kids with strong judgement and neg assumption), I was tired of it and called him on it. Of course that started a disagreement, but what's new..and it left me feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I married someone that can be so ruthless to others esp those that don't have money and are different than he is. I had to let go to that and ignore him and let go of the fact that I am connected to that in a marriage. I have to realize that that's his deal and not mine to deal with. It teaches me though that I do not want to be that way to others.
So, what was NEW today?
I believe in prayer and hope.
Reminded that things can change with time and patience and we are all just trying to do our best.
Went to see Bye Bye Birdie musical at the theater, it was really fun :).
What's GOOD today?
I was reminded to not treat people without judgement and be careful with assumptions of any kind both positive and negative. Reminded me that I among better than anyone else, everyone's just trying to be happy and we are all in such different places and its not easy because we are each handed such difficult things on this earth and we all handle things differently.
Was able to get over the disagreement the night prior and wake up this morning with a positive mindset not focusing on what went wrong and looking at the good! This must be working!!
Until tomorrow.....
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